You were never sure of yourself growing up, were you? You saw yourself as living in someone’s shadow. But, to me, you were never, ever, anything other than the brightest star.
We moved a lot, and each time, you became a little less certain. We were both bullied, you and I, and it always hurt more to think of people being unkind to you than it did when they were unkind to me. Because, to me, you’ve always been the coolest person I know. And it hurt to know that you didn’t see or believe that to be true of yourself. You still haven’t realised this, but, you’re something special. I’ll do my best to keep reminding you of that.
I don’t know if you know this, but I think you have exceptional taste. Yes, I make fun of your hoop earrings, mainly because I’m jealous that I’m not cool enough to wear them, but, I’ve always used your judgement as a benchmark.
And, when I’m designing things, I think of you and mom. Because I know, that if I design something either of you wanted to wear, I’ve done something right.
Seeing you wear my pieces, and knowing that they make you feel beautiful, is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me.
I’m not the bravest, or the most sure of myself. But you’ve always been there, my big sister, my best friend. You keep me grounded. You stop me from flying away on the cloud of my emotions, and, you keep me fighting.
‘I know a love that keeps me calm in the storm,
Keeps the blood inside of me warm.
Wherever I go, it never leaves…
I know a love stronger than I am.
It beats me up, and keeps me trying.
And when I can’t, it fights for me…
There will be times when it rains on you,
I’ll be the light that you can hold on to.
And on the day that I turn to dust,
I hope you know just how much I love you.’ -Matoma
So here’s to you, Christie. The woman I’ve always looked up to (albeit not because of your height). You are spectacularly remarkable. You bring my designs to life. And, my word, don’t you look beautiful.
All of my love, always,
Your Caitie-Cat (and, of course, Soda) xxx